Monday, April 30, 2012

April 30th - WILD CARD

Four of Hearts - WILD CARD - Hip-Hopera!
Jack of Hearts - Hotel Sex


This poem would have been super depraved:


Samples from:

Disco D, Peaches, DJ Assault, Death From Above 1979, Magazine's "Other Thematic Material", Tribe Called Quest's "Hot Sex"

Lines like:

"Mirrors, mirrors on the ceiling and the walls
Make it clear
That you've got the tightest ass of them all" (or,  "That I've got the fairest dick of them all")

And then I remembered that I had this. So here's a Haiku instead:



Dampness


The bed convulses
We both lie content smelling
Radiator mold



Thanks for reading this month, kids!

End of April - Eight Topics, Eight Forms

Back on the 19th, I rolled the 20-sided die, which determined I was to write eight extra poems over the remainder of the project, the product of that effort is below:

1 - Breakfast Television

Free Verse

"I Like Myself"

In my underwear
Vodka-soaked
Smoking cigarettes and eating mooshu pork
I watch Dora The Explorer
She sings the words:
"Me gusto mi misma."


2 - The Life of a Barista

Heroic Verse w/Refrain

There are a lot of things I missed writing about here: free pastries, customer crushes, rushed philosophical discussions, the fact that your clothes always smell like coffee, playing the music you want to play, admirers (wanted/unwanted, secret/not-so-secret), the sweaty camaraderie , tip jar thieves, beers in paper cups, constantly breathing in a fine layer of espresso dust, and on and on...


Morning at the Marzocco

Astride my bike I beat the sun
Like Phaeton, Helios’s son
Then disembark outside the store
And groggily unlock the door
A shot, a small (no room), and then
I'm wide awake by six A.M.
No customers till half past ten
The café gets swept, the coffees get changed

By noon there is a steady din
The café's bustling within
While I am stuck at the Marzocco
Preparing yet another cocoa
I casually adjust the grind
Note the espresso's pulling time
Then move to conquer my drink line
The café gets swept, the bus bins get changed

After my shift I eat alone:
Soft tacos at Burrito Zone
"Hey, don't you work at Caffé Sable?"
The customer sits at my table
And I politely take my leave
Back to work, to Beth and Steve
To chat and maybe mooch some tea
The café gets swept, the trashes get changed


3 - Island Nations, Who They Fakin'?

Early 90's Whiteboy Agro-Rap

(shout out to J. Liggan)

Straight Outta Cardiff (Excerpt)

It's Waaaaales!
Where I hustle all of my bills
And I rack up all of my kills
Back off unless you wanna get drilled
Waaaales

Cruising down the M4 in my ’90 station wagon
With my crew in the back – they call us The Red Dragons
I'm wearing more leeks than the S.S Titanic
I fucked Catherine Zeta-Jones
Then I bought her a sandwich
Everybody knows I'm a closet romantic
Absolutely no doubt that I'll make your lady's legs shake
And if you've got a problem then you're gonna have a headache
I’m not afraid to stab a bitch for a motherfucking cupcake 

It's Waaaales!
Where I hustle all of my bills
Where my parents always post bail
So I never have to spend the night in jail
Waaaales


4 - Acrimony

Acrostic

Acrimony (one-sided)

Acid-tongued
Crudities
Rudely uttered
In order to
Make you react
Outrageously

No luck
You respond with nothing


5 - Boston vs. New York

Twin Limericks

The Red Sox are greater than great
They really clean up at the plate
Though they're now free from Ruth
There's still the sad truth
They were the last to integrate


New York is the best town on earth
A playground of infinite mirth
But around mid-July
When the sun rises high
The whole island smells of afterbirth



6 - Subway Alliances

Prose

Here Comes The Sun, Underground

On a crowded evening F train, everything is grey coats and downturned lips. The smell is stronger than usual: damp wool, wet leather, air that has been inhaled and exhaled too many times by too many people. I sense the bulk of the woman sharing the seat-back with me. Her flesh is spilling over to my side and I can see her large hoop earrings in my periphery.

A man gets on at West 4th Street. He is carrying a guitar with cracks in the body and a sunflower painted on it. There are about a dozen felt sunflowers pinned to his shirt and pants. He speaks softly and there is dirt under his fingernails. "Hi everyone. Life is a beautiful thing. I hope you all have a great day."

The man begins to play and the moment his fingers touch the rusty strings, a change comes over his face: the dirt and the lines seem to disappear, as his eyes and mouth collaborate to form an open, childlike grin.

I feel the woman behind me moving to beat of the music. She feels me moving too. "He's good, he's good," she tells me. I'm close enough to smell her cinnamon breath.

"Yeah, he is good."

The rest of the subway isn't watching him - some people are looking at the floor, others at the ads for lawyers and language institutes, a few stare out the windows at the blurred tiles of the station walls - so he plays for the woman and me. He labors when it comes time for him to fingers the arpeggios, but he tells us, "it's alright, it's alright."

When he finishes, she and I clap. No one else does. "Come on people, show the man some love," she yells to the skittish mass of commuters, "put yo’ hands in yo’ pockets and dig deep. Dig deep y'all." I give the man a dollar.

The woman and I don't speak for the rest of ride and I depart at 40th Street/Bryant Park.


7 - "Joseph Kony" 

Insult Poem /Facebook Thread

I adore this man 
Why do you love Joseph Kony?
That's really not funny, Tony
I bet you're sad and lonely
Yo facist, suck my baloney
Fuck you man, you fuckin phony
Wow, your an asshole Tony
I hope you get raped by a pony
Guys that picture's Carl Weathers




8 - Ingrid Bergman

Woody Guthrie’s tribute 

Free verse/modified tanka

Grandmothers

We laughed together
Smoking a blunt in the rain
High as we could remember
Not talking about
Marjorie Teplitz
Or Ingrid Bergman


Sunday, April 29, 2012

April 29th - WILD CARD

Orange Joker - WILD CARD

Two topics, one poem:

Two of Clubs - The Boob Tube
Three of Diamonds - Mike Piazza

The Catcher


Midnight before the press conference
Mike is still awake
Thinking about his swing
Half-watching Cinemax

Saturday, April 28, 2012

April 28th - Dame Maggie Smith

Queen of Diamonds - Dame Maggie Smith

Though I Imagine She Wouldn't Mind

Five decades as a working actor
A BAFTA for Room With a View
Still she's best remembered for Harry Potter
And Sister Act 2

Friday, April 27, 2012

April 27th - Spin Doctors

Five of Clubs - Spin Doctors

Damage Control, or Ill-Advised John Hughes Moment 1, or I Know What a Prince and Lover Ought To Be

I wish I had a team
That would release timely bits of information
To make you forget me
Outside your window that night
Blasting Two Princes

Thursday, April 26, 2012

April 26th - Otter Genocide

Nine of Spades - Otter Genocide

Don't Be Fooled By The Charming Antics

A river otter may seem cuddly
Super cute and vaguely feline
But don't presume that he's your buddy
With the chance, he'd end your bloodline









Wednesday, April 25, 2012

April 25th - Public Goodbyes

Jack of Spades - Public Goodbyes

Public Goodbye 1

When I'm soundly defeated
Let me leave gracelessly
With scowls and slow rage
Raising my voice to the scribbling press
"You don't have Zach Adler to kick around anymore"

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

April 24th - That Fortune Teller At P.J. Kilroy's

Eight of Hearts - That Fortune Teller At P.J. Kilroy's

Alternate title: Drinking With Jim Powers




Two Of Cups (Inverted Position)

"You and she will never be together"
That was the gist of my reading
"You and me both, Brother"

So we drank and
Listened to Peter Tosh
Until dawn

Monday, April 23, 2012

April 22nd - Living in Santorum's America

Three of Spades - Living in Santorum's America


Not A Poem, But Worth Celebrating

Living in Santorum's America:
It's never going to happen

Sunday, April 22, 2012

April 22nd - Trying To Pick Someone Up At Burger King (The BK Mack)

Five of Hearts - Trying To Pick Someone Up At Burger King (The BK Mack)

Inspired by true events...


The BK Mack (Extended Version)


Damn girl
Let me grab yo Tendergrill
Maybe onion rings
This is BK baby,
I can buy you things

Saturday, April 21, 2012

April 21st - Feminist Blogs

Queen of Spades - Feminist Blogs


Disabling Comments On FEMergence.wordpress.com

Whenever you quote Simone de Beauvoir
A troll sparks a bitter flamewar
And invariably calls you a big whore

Friday, April 20, 2012

April 20th - The Psychological Problems of Mighty Mouse

Seven of Spades - The Psychological Problems of Mighty Mouse


A Mighty Diagnosis

This mouse is a
Dissociative
Binge-eating
Borderline sociopath

With time I could find more disorders

He can talk and fly
Also abnormal

-

Oh, and of course the coke problem...
Ralph Bakshi vs. The Religious Right

Thursday, April 19, 2012

April 19th - High School Girlfriend's Wedding

Nine of Hearts - High School Girlfriend's Wedding

After The Fact


Big smiles in the reception line
I kiss your mother
But I don't kiss you

Week 3 - The 20 sided die returns!

My fate will be decided by the roll of the dice. Or, to be less dramatic and more precise about it, the number of poems I will write over the remainder of this project will be decided by the roll of a die. That's right, the 20-sided die that was so instrumental in previous years' projects (see here and here) is being taken out of retirement, and will be used to determine how many poems - on top of the daily tweet - will be written this year.

A few quick rules:
- Number will range from 2-19. 1 and 20 are rerolls.
- All topics will be taken from the deck. I may use one topic for multiple poems. Wild Cards will be shuffled back into the deck.
- All poetic forms will be writer's choice. Most will be drawn from the lists I've used in previous years, but there could be some new ones too.

So, the magic number will be:
8


The first topic being:
Two of Diamonds - Breakfast Television


Expect eight extra poems to surface here over the next twelve days...

Week 2 - Piper Perabo/Covert Affairs

Below is the product of the construct set up on April 11th, late and meterless though it may be:


It Might Be Bad But At Least It Doesn't Take Itself Seriously (Covert Affairs, This Poem)

I wanted to write an exhaustive sonnet
Alas, I've only seen one episode
And the show's not on On Demand (doggonit):

Annie caused a drug empire to corrode
She hooked up with a handsome chef and rode
Kicking, handcuffed in the trunk of a car
(maybe this would work better as an ode?)
Oh, of course, Peter Gallagher costars

Already I've taken this joke too far
So maybe my focus should be on Piper

Aside from that movie set in a bar
I imagine she changed many a diaper
On screen in Cheaper by the Dozen Two
Which does not in fact rhyme with Perabo

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Stephen Crane - 110 years ahead of his time

The initial inspiration for this year's poetic form comes from an unlikely place: the 19th century. Over a hundred years before the launch of twitter, Stephen Crane was writing compact, unpretentious verse - a handful of which were 140 characters or less.


A man blessed with a knack for description and an above average mustache, Crane led a short, storied life: he was war correspondent in the Spanish-American War, survived a shipwreck, shacked up with a madam, befriended Joseph Conrad and H.G. Wells, and wrote one of the most lauded war novels in the English language. Red Badge of Courage is certainly what Stephen Crane is best known for, but he was also an accomplished journalist, short story writer, and of course, poet. Above all else though, Crane was a humanist. Even his most detestable characters are written through a compassionate lens, and with stories like "Maggie: Girl of the Streets" and "An Experiment in Misery," Crane pushed his affluent, 19th centruy readers to open their eyes to the complex realities of slum life. Stephen Crane died of tuberculosis in 1900, at the age of 28 - my age as I write this.

Below are a couple of my favorite of his tweet-length poems:


You tell me this is God?
I tell you this is a printed list,
A burning candle and an ass.

-

A man said to the universe:
“Sir, I exist!”
“However,” replied the universe,
“The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation.”

-

If I should cast off this tattered coat,
And go free into the mighty sky;
If I should find nothing there
But a vast blue,
Echoless, ignorant, –
What then?

-

Check out more of his stuff at: http://www.poemhunter.com/stephen-crane-2/poems/

Make sure you at least look at:
and

April 18th - WILD CARD

Yellow Joker - WILD CARD
Yellow Joker means take the day off!
Smell you jerks later...

Expect some stuff to still be posted here later today...

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

April 17th - Theft of the Poetic License

Rule Card - WILD CARD
The rule card, once drawn, can be saved and used at any time to change the rules of a single poem.

Ace of Spades - Theft Of Poetic License


Rob You With A Fountain Pen

A life in art
A life of crime
They're the same

I stole that by the way

Monday, April 16, 2012

April 16th - Work In Studios All Day...

Two of Hearts - Work in studios all day, listen to NPR on the way home, then get furious at how stupid TV is


Three Hours Before An Outburst Directed At River Monsters


The day's rage lays latent
Bumper-to-bumper
Listening not living
This American Life

Sunday, April 15, 2012

April 15th - Peach & Chipotle Glazed Quail

Three of Hearts - Peach & Chipotle Glazed Quail

Peach & Chipotle Glazed Quail


One quail's ultimate loss
Becomes Man's vehicle
For sweet and spicy sauce

Saturday, April 14, 2012

April 14th - Primanti Brothers Sandwiches

Seven of Clubs - Primanti Brothers Sandwiches

Primanti Brothers Sandwiches

No need for an unrhyming couplet
The sandwich itself is a poem:
http://www.primantibros.com/

Friday, April 13, 2012

April 13th - WILD CARD

Ten of Spades - WILD CARD
Today I have to write a...Bruce Springsteen Song about...
King of Spades - Inside Jokes


This one is brimming with inside jokes. See if you can spot any of ours, friends.


Living In The Red 


Slow piano intro (slightly reminiscent of Pachelbel's Canon)
Harmonica comes in


You drive to the city and get rid of the car
Meet Mitch's connection at a folk singers' bar
A girl's hollerin' at you when you come out
She's wearing
crimped hair and a stained blouse
Screaming "Welcome to the Dollhouse"
Under your feet written on the sidewalk
"Pray until something happens"
So much for your man's big talk
Mitch brought you to the crap end

Its a barenaked city of legendary losers
Of big dreamers and hard boozers

No sign here reads
"Employee For Hire"
This town's full of black and white vampires
People keeping warm by trashcan fires
The boys in the alley getting their snorts
When they stand in your way
And ask you if you like sports
You better have come to play

But you run, run, Mary
Keep running into the night
Running from those things that you said
Down the road where angels never tread
But don't you forget
This stoop is no place for a bed
You're still here (you're still here)
You're living in the red

You ride that rail mile after mile
Gripping onto your pack koala-style
You get to the house in the woods
Where you and your man get your goods
He is ready to make his plays
But you can't bring yourself inside
And these woods go back a ways
There's plenty of space to hide


So you run, run, Mary
Keep running into the night
Running from those things that you said
Down the road where angels never tread
But don't you forget
A boxcar's no place for a bed
You're still here (you're still here)
You're living in the red

Somber Horn break: (merrr merrr merrr, etc.)

You wonder what happened once you flew
You wonder what happened to the people we knew
After you left with Mitch
Kathy and Dodger got hitched
Herschel went to live with Shan
Stormy got killed in Vietnam
And me
Weeeellll me

I'm happily married to a pretty heiress*
We both have passports, we can fly to Paris
Our garage has room for two cars
I've got a couple of Fender guitars
But the truth is I've forgotten how to play
I sleep through the night, I work through the day
But tonight I walk under the stars
And wonder what planet you're on
You never seemed very far
But I know that you're gone
Oh you run, run, Mary, my huckleberry
Keep running into the night
I don't care about what you said
I just don't wanna hear that you're dead
But babe...
My Hooouuuuse has no space for your bed
You ain't here (you ain't here)
You're living in the red



*Sorry Kanye


Compare to 2010's Springsteen song

Thursday, April 12, 2012

April 12th - The Demise of the Space Shuttle Program

Seven of Hearts - The Demise of the Space Shuttle Program


Tanka for a Telescope


Soon we will lose you
We ponder your images
We wait for blindness
All while you ceaselessly push
Through the ever-expanding


Tanka
Hubble
Man, I wanted to go to Space Camp

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

April 11th - Goldschlager

Eight of Diamonds - Goldschlager

Ill-Advised Recipes I

How to make a "Falling Comet:"
Pour Goldschlager in a pint glass
No need to garnish
Drink. Repeat. Vomit.

Week 2 - Sonnets

As promised, there will be a new curve ball thrown each week (and a new outdated metaphor too!).

This week I will be rolling a six-sided die and writing in one of three sonnet forms:

1 - Shakespearean Sonnet
2 - Shakespearean Sonnet
3 - Petrarchan Sonnet
4 - Petrarchan Sonnet
5 - Spenserian Sonnet
6 - Spenserian Sonnet

The poem will be a
6 - Spenserian Sonnet

About
Two of Spades - Piper Perabo/Covert Affairs


Wow.

Expect this gem posted here sometime this weekend

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

April 10th - Racist Hunger Games Fans

Six of Spades - Racist Hunger Games Fans 


So I bent the rules a little on this one...


A Poem About Racist Hunger Games Fans

Would have been some spew
On how a certain actor ruined a certain preview
Shown before The Hunger Games
That poem went up in flames;
There are no black people in Spiderman, Dark Shadows, or Titanic 3-D.

Week 1 - Frozen Feet on the Way to the Orchestra

See this post for the setup.


A little late, I know. My apologies...



Opening Night (Cold Feet)


I got cold feet sitting with you
Behind red curtain and tech crew
With shallow breaths our stomachs rose
I had the urge to kiss your nose
Backstage at Taming Of The Shrew

I played the page - Bartholomew
You caught my eye, I missed my cue
Wordless wearing women's clothes
I got cold feet

As I trudged in the pre-dawn dew
And dwelled on what I didn't do
Walking companion to my woes
I swiftly ceased to feel my toes
Warm though it was, my shoes soaked through,
I got cold feet

Follow “Elvis” On Twitter!


Do you like what you've seen so far this month? Follow it on twitter!: @tweetlengthpoem

Reasons to Follow:
1) Get your poems first! All tweet-lengths in this year’s project will be tweeted before appearing on this site.
2) Spread the word! Help this blog reach a wider audience.
3) Contribute! Join in, by tweeting your own mini-poem @tweetlengthpoem

Thanks for your support!

Monday, April 09, 2012

April 9th - Chameleons

Four of Spades - Chameleons

Chameleons


We lived upon the canopy
Lazing in the breeze
But you went and changed your colors
Now I've lost you in the trees

Sunday, April 08, 2012

April 8th - Times Square In The 80's

King Of Hearts - Times Square in the 80's


8th Avenue, Circa 1981

Before Guiliani's sting
The phrase "Lion King"
Meant a very different thing

Saturday, April 07, 2012

April 7th - Heroquest

Five of Hearts - Heroquest


The Ballad of Jason B.


My friend Jason's egalitarian
His diet is pure vegetarian
You'd never guess
When he plays HeroQuest
He always prefers The Barabarian

Friday, April 06, 2012

April 6th - The Mets, Obviously

Ace of Diamonds - The Mets, Obviously

Mid-July Mets Fan Wild Card Blues


Oh how can we stay in the race
With so many men left on base?

Thursday, April 05, 2012

April 5th - Airport Hellos

Jack of Diamonds - Airport Hellos

Reasons Why You're Like Hawaii


Your airport hellos
How they've changed
No kiss, no lei

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

April 4th - "You're always happy with your work when you're drinking"

Eight of Spades - "You're always happy with your work when you're drinking"



Painting On A Bender

A canvass should come with the warning
“This is bound to look worse in the morning”



...and an untitled poem that was unfortunately too long for a tweet:

Five chardonnays and a PBR down
At a tiny gallery in Fort Greene
Heather lauds her brushstrokes: "I'm the damn queen!"
She makes a scene: "I wear a fucking crown!"




Tuesday, April 03, 2012

April 3rd - WILD CARD

Six of Clubs - WILD CARD
Wild card? What does this mean? As in previous years, I've included a handful of cards in the deck that will switch up the rules of the project for the day. This year, some of these cards are directly associated with a previously successful form.
So, Six of Clubs = Craigslist Missed Connection, which will be writen on the topic of:
Jack of Clubs - Crohn's Diesease


Every year needs at least one creepy missed connection:

http://boston.craigslist.org/bmw/mis/2939162141.html 


Let's Make Things Equal - w4m - 29 (Some GI Clinic)


Date: 2012-04-03, 11:16PM EDT
Reply to: ccptc-2939162141@pers.craigslist.org

I shouldnt post this but I want to see you again and I want to try to make things equal

You smiled at me right when you walked in and were so nice
I was hoping you would ask me out cause I couldnt ask you out
You made a joke when my hand was around your bicep
We laughed about it
It was so nice getting to know you
You looked at me with youre hungry bluegray eyes
Youre blood pressure was a little high
Was that cause you were looking at me?

I got to see you again
You didnt see me
It was after the anesthesia
It was my job to turn your body over
It was my job to put in the scope
I watched youre insides on the screen
I saw inside you

Ugh this is weird I know and I dont mean it to be weird
I defenately didnt do anything weird
Its not weird for me cause its my job but I think it will weird be for you
And I cant go back in time but I like you
So
Maybe we can make things equal
I want you to see all of me
Inside and out

  • Location: Some GI Clinic
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2939162141


Monday, April 02, 2012

Week 1 - Six Forms

As I mentioned, I will be switching things up by writing (an) additional non-tweet length poem(s) every week.

This week, the form will be determined by a six-sided die:
1 - Prose
2 - Acrostic
3 - Ruba'i
4 - Rondeau
5 - Villanelle
6 - Free Verse

And, this week I will write:
King of Clubs - Frozen feet on the way to the Orchestra
4 - Rondeau

Expect the result to be posted between now and Sunday...

April 2nd - Ladies Reading

Queen of Hearts - Ladies Reading

The Girls and The Ladies

On fields and straw mats
The girls are seeding, breeding
Bruised and back-bent
Ever-ceding

On verandas above
Laze ladies (children) reading

Sunday, April 01, 2012

April 1st - Female Gladiators

Unless otherwise noted, all poems will be in tweet length form: 140 characters or less (not including title).

Ten of Diamonds - Female Gladiators

Check out this engaging article on the subject via J. Liggan


Bodies in the Arena

Before the leering crowd they warred
All covering their hungry faces
Forsaking any girlish graces
None ever won a wooden sword*


* handing a wooden sword to a Gladiator was a bestowal of freedom

p.s. This was done hours ago, but held up thanks to crappy internet on the megabus.